Mister and Miss Eurovision 2009

All right, so the show is over and the results have been announced, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t look back a little bit and remember those who were easiest on the eyes in Moscow! Beauty is – like many other things – totally subjective, but here are a couple of artists who made MY viewing experience more enjoyable…

ZOLI ADOK (Hungary)

He won the Barbara Dex Award for that outrageous outfit that really didn’t show him off at his best at all. A shame, really, because those eyes – ah, those eyes!

YOHANNA (Iceland)

And what an icy cool beauty we saw from Iceland in that powder blue dress! A stunning young lady with a voice to match – no wonder she ended up all the way up in second place!

Little Teddybear AWOL 2009

According to the dictionary “AWOL” is defined as meaning “Absent WithOut Leave”, but could it not just as easily mean “Award for WOrst Lyrics”? Okay, maybe that’s more of a stretch, but that is at least the meaning is has for me on this blog, as I look at the Eurovision Song Contest  and present the Little Teddybear AWOL for 2009!

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First, let me acknowledge the indispensable website The Diggiloo Thrush for providing as accurate as possible translations for some of the countries’ entries. Now the REAL problem at hand is how on earth does one try to find the worst lyrics in a song contest that already is widely known for it’s below-average texts? Such a daunting task is not to be attempted lightly, and so – on behalf of many Eurovision lovers and haters – I will take on the responsibility! First, a quick summary of the kind of wording that we’re dealing with here – here are the nominees:

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1. BULGARIA: “Illusion”, lyrics by William Tabanou, Casie Tabanou, Krassimir Avramov

Show me all I’ve never seen
Wrong, it feels so wrong
To be apart from afar
Your lips could solve it for me
You don’t know how
You don’t know where to go, to go

Oh yes, I DO know where to go – straight out the door! Although there are no real grammatical errors in this piece of….. text…., glueing together random phrases is never the solution. It all comes out like one big mess. Fortunately for Bulgaria this year, they had a singer so off-tune that noone really noticed the lyrics!

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2. CZECH REPUBLIC: “Aven Romale”, lyrics by Radoslav ‘Gipsy’ Banga

I feel something wrong
Made us separate the world on pieces
We got eyes and still stay all so blind

I definitely feel something wrong, too – and having just read those lyrics I’m kind of wishing I was blind as well! Once again, the group Gipsy.cz proved that the only way to get by with terrible lyrics is to do something outrageous in the way of costuming and performance. The superhero outfit the lead singer donned for the performance made everyone wish that he could fly away. Sadly, he didn’t.

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3. GERMANY: “Miss Kiss Kiss Bang”, lyrics by Alex Christensen

Miss Kiss Kiss Bang, come let us sing
Miss Kiss Kiss Bang, now let us swing
Shake your sweet, sweet, sweet little thing
Mrs Kiss Kiss Bang, come let us swing

Not only did the lady in question quickly get married within the space of two lines, but her little thing (whatever that may be) is apparently something that is so sweet that it would cause complete dental failure. Terrible redundancy and repetition throughout the entire song, the only way this act was going to get any points at all was to hire an American to sing it because strangely enough this kind of text still sounds passable with a little American attitude, right?

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4. LATVIA: “Probka”, lyrics by Janis Elsbergs, Sergej Timofejev

This is no easy fun
From a Mercedes to a Volvo
And rushing to your silhouette
Very far away

She has the right idea, trying to get away from him in any car that will drive her. A song about a traffic jam surely can’t be meaningless, you say? Well, I can certainly contain my enthusiasm for a song about bumpers, bending bushes and a packed ring road!

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5. SLOVAKIA: “Let’ Tmou”, lyrics by Petronela Kolevska, Anna Zigova

As forgiveness approaches
Clouds embrace the return
Do not stray, you’re the same
Even if someone breaks you

Okay, this is one that might just be a whole lot better in the original language. If this translation is worth anything, though, no overly-affectionate clouds or threats of my bones being shattered would keep me around for long! Were these lyricists by chance born in the 1960s?

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The 2009 AWOL winner showing us his interpretation of the word "cool"

As terrible as this all may sound, the Little Teddybear AWOL for 2009 still has to go to a song that really could have been SO much better if they had just substituted one single word throughout. See if you can spot which word I mean:

He was a copycat, trying to steal my soul
Now he’s too dead to rock ‘n’ roll

Nothing says class like an Elvis-impersonator. Even if we get past the “funny” bit of him claiming that Presley is the real imitator, it’s really hard to overlook the comments about how the King is too fat and/or too dead. Now, that’s just downright insulting in my book – and I’m not even an Elvis fan. Tongue-in-cheek the Belgian act says. No, no, no.

The Little Teddybear AWOL 2009 goes to:
BELGIUM: “Copycat”, lyrics by Jacques Duvall

Congratulations – or something like that! So what about the best lyrics of 2009, then? France, by far! But that’s a whole other story…

The Power of Nature

So what is it exactly about tornadoes that is so fascinating? My husband has asked me that question countless times, and each time he does I am at an equal loss for words. I can’t explain it, pure and simple. Of course, growing up in Minnesota and every summer going through several tornado watches (and maybe even warnings), maybe it’s natural to develop a curiosity about just what it is that is so extremely powerful?

My first memory of anything tornado-related was when I was very young, maybe about three or four. My family lived in St. Paul, Minnesota at the time, and I remember one evening we were visiting my grandparents who lived just up the road. I don’t remember much about the occasion, but I do remember running up and down from the basement all night long as the tornado warnings kept flashing across the TV screen. For all I know that evening could have been part of the “Super Outbreak” in April of 1974 – the timing would be about right, that’s for sure.

It would be another 7 years, though, before another memorable “encounter” with those swirling vortexes. Having moved to a small town in southwestern Minnesota called Redwood Falls, we found ourselves moving deeper into Tornado Alley territory. One day in June of 1981 we watched the sky turn dark in the northwest. Listening to the radio, we realized that the meteorologists were watching a tornado as it made it’s way along the Minnesota River - right towards us! No sooner did we hear the story on the radio when the town’s civil defense sirens started wailing. Believe me, it is one of the most bone-chilling sounds you will ever hear, and if you haven’t grown up with it, there’s no way to describe how that sound can cut straight through bones.

Down into the basement we ran and huddled underneath a heavy workbench. Through the small basement window on the opposite wall we could see how it got very dark out, how the winds whipped trees and bushes around, and how lightning constantly cut through the dark and rain. The local radio station had reporters out in the field (what crazy nuts!) so we were kept abreast of the storm’s progress. After what seemed like four hours, but in reality was about 20 minutes, the winds died down and it started getting brighter outside. My mother and I walked back upstairs to find no damage to the house, thankfully. Nevertheless, our hearts were pounding after such an ordeal.

My father, who arrived home from work a few hours later, said that they had been sent to the basement at work as well. But he wanted to get a glimpse of the storm, so he had gone back up to the entry door just in time to see the funnel cloud swirling above town. I realized right then that despite an overwhelming fear, I really wished that I had been able to see that as well!

Many years have since passed, and in 1982 my family relocated to Norway, where a tornado is something that really only happens in the US and we only hear about in the news. Still, there are many websites that I visit regularly just to keep track of where severe weather is occuring in the States – sometimes to keep track for relatives that still live there, but most often just for my own fascination. And for nearly 28 years now, I have wished that The Weather Channel was available on this side of the Atlantic – but alas, that wish still goes unfulfilled. Thank goodness I still have family I can visit, and who have The Weather Channel! Who knows, maybe some day I may even get to go on a chase? If I can take the suspense!

Better

A beautiful song for a beautiful sentiment, made all the more poignant by the recent death of Stephen Gately. May he rest in peace.

Consolation

The world stops turning, as if to say
That life is learning;
That some things will stay
Despite the burning of the dying day;
That hearts in yearning
Will still find their way
To souls in mourning, and souls at play.

And that in the end
The arms of a friend
Do more than words could ever say.